Tuesday, December 15, 2009

All this Casey Anthony Craziness

So we've seen the first elements of the Casey Anthony being put forth, and, unsurprisingly, I'm torn over the matter. Since I love estimating things and making up scales and measurements that may or may not exist, I'm 70% in it for blood, 20% in it for the legal stuff, and 10% guilty that I'm even paying any attention to it at all. At least I can get it on the mainstream news and not rely on that rabid harpy Nancy Grace. Jesus Heathcliff Christ that woman's annoying.

Of course the whole damn thing is sordid as hell, but still, the Old Testament side of me is all "electrocute that cold bitch and let's all be done with it!" For anyone who didn't catch it the first time through, Casey had a young child named Caylee, who turned up missing. The problem here (well, one of many) was that mom didn't tell the police for about a month, and spent that time allegedly leading her own investigation. Her investigation, from what later surfaced, primarily involved her grinding on strangers in Orlando area dance clubs and devastating the Central Florida supply of Mike's Lemonade and Aftershock. At that point she blamed a random person she apparently found in the phone book, and ever since, a mountain of evidence has slowly emerged indicating that she obviously did it in cold blood. Bad, bad stuff.

On a side note, I wonder if this might have been the basis for a snappy new cop show where she, OJ, and La Toya Jackson all hunt down "the real killers" in Florida golf courses, bars, and the occasional unemployment office (shout-out to the Toya!) Call it something like "The Juice and the Squeeze."

Anyways, this actually has an interesting legal outlook, as it could become one of the top death penalty cases in recent memory, and one of the few where an attractive (in a somewhat trashy way) woman is on trial. No joke, they might kill her ass for this, and it's clear that's the prosecution's plan. They just offered her a deal where she could admit to the crime and take a life sentence, or go to trial and potentially get the big ticket. She opted for the trial, and is hoping to cry herself to a long sentence. My guess is that there will be someone in the jury box who gets a little weak in the stomach and votes for life, but there's at least a 50/50 shot she's getting plugged into the wall for this one. Now that's rolling the dice-- I'm sure as hell hoping she comes up snake eyes.


  1. Wait, do you know what bars she was "investigating" at? I knew I shouldn't have used the pick-up line, "it's cool baby, I'm a lawyer." Not again!

  2. You should totally try to get on as co-counsel. Part of the defense team. First stop: Hooters.